Happiness Does Come Back

UPDATE!! I am currently in school still, going to get my associates this year! YAY! I wish I could just go straight to my bachelors but I also know that I want to leave on a mission with a fresh cut, not having to worry about credits and what not. I have thought a lot about my mission, I feel like sometimes I have been using it as an excuse for my relationships. I know that I still would love to go and when the day comes and I don't have a man by my side, I will serve the Lord. I do not want to loose out on opportunities because I am trying to focus on a mission.
A lot of crying has happened the past week or so, but I am glad to say that I have stopped the crying! I am very happy that I made many personal decisions in the past so I already know what to do now. A mission has a lot to do with that, a have learned that the foundations of a family are incredibly important, I will not enter a marriage with out a good background on both of our parts. I have learned that love makes you do things you never thought you would, some days I love it, other days... well... haha.
I am still thankful to have a job right now, to have AMAZING room mates, and WONDERFUL friends. When I moved to Raintree I thought I would get friends fast because I am an outgoing girl once you get to know me. That was the hardest thing, but now I have wonderful people that I am surrounded by.
The hardest thing right now is wondering the what if's, if I didn't have to gospel I believe my relationship status would be different, if I didn't have the values that I have, I would pursuing the love of my life. Speaking of the love of my life, I am so glad that we have gotten that closure. Now we can focus on getting to know each other more as friends, doing things backwards but I am so thankful for everything that has happened. I know that I will be able to look back and tell my children my story that will help their lives. Everything does happen for a reason, that reason we may not know right now, but don't forget that if you still know you can try, if you still love that person, and you are willing to work things out, never, never, NEVER give up.
I am also happy to say that I do not have anymore walls around my heart!! I am who I am and I am not going to let anyone hurt me enough for me to close off my feelings. I have many people to thank for that statement!
Now on with life, I will love like I have never loved before, live as though I have nothing to loose, and love my Lord through my actions. PEACE!

Just get back up

So a lot has happened... I am still feeling the same way, and it seems like it is only going to get harder, which means that I need to get stronger. I feel bad that I have pushed people away right now, but I feel like I need to overcome this without any outsiders giving me advice. Which is why I am writing this blog.

Tonight I had a wonderful woman, who I literally hardly know, she told me EXACTLY what I needed to hear. She was so genuine about every word that came out of her mouth. I hate having to move on from the man that I truly love, but I know that I deserve so much more out of a man. I dated a wonderful boy, an amazing boy that helped me realize what I truly want in my life. I want to date a MAN, someone who can reciprocate those precious words that I told him. Love does get you down, but you just have to get back up.