Really?

I look back and I replay everything we used to talk about and I cannot believe that it is all making sense now, sense that makes me ache inside, sense that will be forever scar'd on my life. I knew you cared, I knew you loved me so why would you do this? I never wanted to paint a bad image of you in my head but you made it so easy, you make it so easy to let go of all the good times we had.
I know that my prayers have been answered, and you are gone, goodness, I don't know how I would managed my life with you still here. You pull me in, and I am terrified of you, I don't ever want to run into your face again, I don't want to be reminded of the pain that you are bringing me right now.
Every morning I wake up and reality hits me like a lightening bolt, I realize that nothing was true, everything was a role, a play, and I don't know you. I have to wake up and go throughout the day knowing that I was deceived by someone I loved. The onion is only starting to unravel, its just the beginning to every happiness that is now replaced with agony and pain. I am so numb that the tears have stopped coming, I stare at the wall in confusion and a lost comprehension of how this happened. I know how it happened... I didn't listen, and I hope that I never forget to listen anymore.
I don't want to hate you, but I am literally terrified of you, I do not want to get that letter in the mail, I just want to forget you completely and move on with my life. I want to grab onto the Jenny that I used to be, the uplifting one, the one who always had a smile on her face. The one that loves the gospel and loves living it! I will get her back, you watch, I am strong now, you cannot touch me now.
Peace be unto thy soul.....